If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
