these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
