You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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