I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
