I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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