talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
