Jerry, you need to find god
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
