saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I will be naked everywhere
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
