Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This toilet bowl is my home.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
