Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
