you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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