You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
