my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize