Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
