that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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