I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize