You kept calling me your small dog last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
