Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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