based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
