We're like a lot better than the average bears
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
