i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize