Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
