Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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