He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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