we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize