you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
