How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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