There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
