I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
