Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
