I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
