I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
