Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
