next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
