I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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