and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Life is so much better after having sex.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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