Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
