? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
