Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He is an equal opportunity slut.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
