I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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