Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
