i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
