And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
