Plan B is the new Plan A
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize