He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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