Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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