Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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