$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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