I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize