told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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