Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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