How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
