He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Randomize