Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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