I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
we should paint friendship bongs
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