I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Drunk is not a location!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize