I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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