he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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