Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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