my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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