the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
