Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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