he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
