I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
